I tried to write a letter to my dad today. This is as far as I got.
What do I say to the dad that’s in jail for falling off the wagon after 15+ years sober(ish)?
What do I say to the dad that taught me to fight like hell for what I believe in, but believes the exact opposite of me on every issue?
What do I say to the dad that on a rare drunken occasion he shows his true self, it feels like looking through a window into my own mind?
What do I say to the dad who has been my inspiration, my manipulator, my hero, my teacher, my friend, my enemy, my source of pain, and my source of healing – sometimes all at once?
What do I say to the dad that got chewed up and spit out by the culture of this fucking place, but mocks my every attempt to tear it to the fucking ground so it can’t hurt anyone anymore?
What do I say that I haven’t said before? I have no words for my dad, today.
All I have are words for this place. Fucking Millard, Nebraska.
You can’t hurt people like this anymore.
Your suburban conformity bullshit can’t strip human beings of their spirits, their music, their dignity, their diversity, their complexity, their rights, their culture, and their pain, then spit them out into the world to see if they survive to defend your stupid systems another day.
You can’t strip mile upon mile of the Earth itself of all trace of its natural complexity and diversity.
You can’t slap labels on people and put the whole of humanity into little boxes. People don’t fit into boxes. Your simplistic answers to the problems of this world are unacceptable.
You can’t force people to keep their “different” inside any longer. You cannot make them live a lie to survive.
You can’t keep your manicured lawns, your prissy HOAs, your “like it or leave it” mentalities, and your comfy little pockets of sameness any longer.
You can’t keep blurring the lines between privilege and poverty to ensure people with one foot in each world continue to uphold a system that squashes them too – solely because to change it would un-squash those you have taught them to “other” as well.
This world is changing – and you Millard, Nebraska are GOING to change with it.
I can’t change my dad. Heck, I can’t even write him a letter today. I do not have those words.
But I have the words to defy the systems in this place that squashed him and so many like him.
Those words are simple.
I am un-squashable.
Because my dad taught me to be.